I need help to answer this question I don't really know what I am asking in :S?

I ache all over the place. I find myself irritated by most people's actions towards me. I can't handle any form of criticism. It's like when someone says something negative, which is a lot because I'm a druggie, I am destroyed, destroyed like a big black man would destroy a small Asian boy in jail. Also I have become super rapist gangster when it comes to authority. It's like I feel like no one can control me and I no longer have fear of authority. Even if I know I'm going to get in trouble I'm just like "**** it I don't care". Like a couple weeks ago I told my teacher off and swore at him and when he wanted to take me to the office I was like,"You ******* idiot the office is closed" and ran out the front door of the school. Also I have walked out of all my other cles mid section and have no fear of teachers stopping me because I'm just like what are they really going to do. I also don't have any fear of my father because the worse he can do is kick my *** which I hope he does again soon so I have an excuse to beat the **** out of him with a baseball bat, or stab him like I should have done last time when I had the chance. Also life seems so meaningless, all I do is sleep all day then do some projects for school so I can feel like my life has some remote purpose. Also all of my teachers have told me they think I'm depressed and it only makes me angrier and even sadder. And one last thing, is it normal to fantasize about killing your family members a lot. Like is it normal to have a deep hatred towards your parents when you're young? Like I think I'm justified to hate them. My mom left when I was two and my dad would have been a better parent for giving me to a foster home than keeping me to live with his alcoholic mistress. Also my dad has major depression / anger problems and is always short. I would be better off killing him than letting him sulk in his misery wouldn't I? He has told me many time that it was because of me and my brother that he has all his problems. I know that is bullshit but it makes me even angrier because my brother is severely depressed and has tried to commit suicide several times and he still has the nerve to say that. Like my dad is a piece of **** right? Also my family has been ****** up for enough time but for most of my life I have been a happy person. It has just been the past two months or so that I have been feeling so shitty. How can I stop feeling shitty I think is my question. Thanks.